tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18195384991209495142024-02-06T20:23:50.255-08:00Stupid HoroscopesIf you've ever wanted a stupid horoscope and been unable to find one stupid enough in a newspaper, this is the place for youIan Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-48123903162084874552010-03-23T06:14:00.001-07:002010-03-23T06:15:34.416-07:00Scorpio: October 23 - November 21<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY-lfa4wfexYs15BXItw2wFYm3np7E0638Ov_gl8REJkwoC49ScRJTd9kXGCkr_3Vedfm-WsbzNXq0uahCu7ojKQO5Pp5XlSprXnbvWmHFVRJ6081uvQ6IWnDFjSDNOoLSwYY2YhDn3k8/s1600-h/scorpio.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY-lfa4wfexYs15BXItw2wFYm3np7E0638Ov_gl8REJkwoC49ScRJTd9kXGCkr_3Vedfm-WsbzNXq0uahCu7ojKQO5Pp5XlSprXnbvWmHFVRJ6081uvQ6IWnDFjSDNOoLSwYY2YhDn3k8/s320/scorpio.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451817203456134082" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Drastic times call for drastic measures.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Your life is far from drastic though, so you can just carry on doing fuck all.</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-47672454157249006212010-03-19T02:56:00.001-07:002010-03-19T02:57:39.491-07:00Libra: September 23 - October 22<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWT-Rdwu0jVOjSv9t7r9FlwI4bBS3w_g1taIRKJmRfbWtrwmcBstt2merF0zUCofj9AOCt4JPhfo-_g9wBo9s2plc_zroWG2DAPRuXIEYW4qPXKt-lwnXDlB8plK-vLKznlTlQQrhjutE/s1600-h/libra.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWT-Rdwu0jVOjSv9t7r9FlwI4bBS3w_g1taIRKJmRfbWtrwmcBstt2merF0zUCofj9AOCt4JPhfo-_g9wBo9s2plc_zroWG2DAPRuXIEYW4qPXKt-lwnXDlB8plK-vLKznlTlQQrhjutE/s320/libra.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5450281761205225154" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Your face will drip today.</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-76102449665128923982010-03-17T05:38:00.001-07:002010-03-17T05:42:24.794-07:00Virgo: August 23 - September 22<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiOk_xxXsprq0l2wMQ50aih52XPQb-5CjW12PnJ8YFs4wYjdMSHoQ2zC06HmpsvA2h7GDCSUVk0UG-TcstiP1FgHNHzHJtZ8Pf-biHQ2KZb6uWr1tPruCOXR59Nnfdhb-utNwMYnZS-mY/s1600-h/virgo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiOk_xxXsprq0l2wMQ50aih52XPQb-5CjW12PnJ8YFs4wYjdMSHoQ2zC06HmpsvA2h7GDCSUVk0UG-TcstiP1FgHNHzHJtZ8Pf-biHQ2KZb6uWr1tPruCOXR59Nnfdhb-utNwMYnZS-mY/s320/virgo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449581437522650898" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Marked improvements in your life lie ahead if you can only seize the opportunities that float tantalisingly in front of you with both hands.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Unfortunately your arrest last night means you can't seize anything - somewhat ironic considering what they caught you doing - so you're more likely to spend the next five years in a cell with a guy called Larry.</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-30090862667098931222010-03-16T05:48:00.001-07:002010-03-16T05:49:19.643-07:00Leo: July 23 - August 22<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAhtXHLotgYfku7NgYb1IGEuHS-mj59nr8Pn3cr_tujBSztkVl22Gw_5EJrIpTZgNy_5hIfKiEzdcU4Qgvo5wKIVXFcsYTiqtp_yV1Kt4MA6ql_Q0BCtfNAuzNX2Pj8dv0jW4hr8S7EUY/s1600-h/leo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAhtXHLotgYfku7NgYb1IGEuHS-mj59nr8Pn3cr_tujBSztkVl22Gw_5EJrIpTZgNy_5hIfKiEzdcU4Qgvo5wKIVXFcsYTiqtp_yV1Kt4MA6ql_Q0BCtfNAuzNX2Pj8dv0jW4hr8S7EUY/s320/leo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449212843563962642" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Roll a dice.</span><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">If you get an even number your legs will fall off tomorrow morning as you take a bath and listen to Tchaikovsky.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">If you get an odd number you will experience searing pain in your knees and your nails will crumble.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">If you don't roll a dice you'll be fine.</p>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-33074616650149687492010-03-15T03:36:00.000-07:002010-03-15T03:39:02.862-07:00Cancer: June 21 - July 22<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvJBGD-gWrPInqQ8zlKsejWhrqE-RcZAULIje_4IN0DKAqT8NMW7bCg-1Xfbzhyphenhyphen7uLJdz9hwaDSOivsUB6LJj2XodBH2RLY93BNCLn5wcWJ0O9EBUQt02rri4MLa7RpohwNC1m0ERxW84/s1600-h/cancer.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvJBGD-gWrPInqQ8zlKsejWhrqE-RcZAULIje_4IN0DKAqT8NMW7bCg-1Xfbzhyphenhyphen7uLJdz9hwaDSOivsUB6LJj2XodBH2RLY93BNCLn5wcWJ0O9EBUQt02rri4MLa7RpohwNC1m0ERxW84/s320/cancer.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448807852775001234" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Something will happen today that will change your life forever.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >And it's a good job, because your life up to now has been shit.</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-17591900614129895532010-03-12T04:32:00.000-08:002010-03-12T04:35:15.389-08:00Gemini: May 21 - June 20<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiECDpwnDVqnMkhaKoy7aLP2-eUUDJOXfcDBKdvkskBaujoJ0DZmzfCOvY9tUHmx7D1uT8_HK8kyclLlKuSYuS-uKcpz8WRk2wDqEc2hel4JMz-sgl2ORTPldPZ2-LFzkumG1xFOWwLZ2k/s1600-h/gemini.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiECDpwnDVqnMkhaKoy7aLP2-eUUDJOXfcDBKdvkskBaujoJ0DZmzfCOvY9tUHmx7D1uT8_HK8kyclLlKuSYuS-uKcpz8WRk2wDqEc2hel4JMz-sgl2ORTPldPZ2-LFzkumG1xFOWwLZ2k/s320/gemini.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447724563790347058" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >You are a patriot.</span><br /><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Later today you will sing your national anthem with faux tears in your eyes in an attempt to bestow meaning upon your shallow existence.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Then you will fail to grow up.</p>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-74592918270080844442010-03-11T01:50:00.001-08:002010-03-11T01:51:11.338-08:00Taurus: April 20 - May 20<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf5LM1zU4DdHdhfFzHlmIruvCGTamnPMNFPZkod7uRlx13NeLF_Fu-7JpuqB0neh4lcO1mUaUGd04ttDzvTiKWD9okHn24aHWtSw_Jw_Vlr_d574a7D13Uhf42BD43H4nHrFe2q1ZcE2s/s1600-h/taurus+copy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf5LM1zU4DdHdhfFzHlmIruvCGTamnPMNFPZkod7uRlx13NeLF_Fu-7JpuqB0neh4lcO1mUaUGd04ttDzvTiKWD9okHn24aHWtSw_Jw_Vlr_d574a7D13Uhf42BD43H4nHrFe2q1ZcE2s/s320/taurus+copy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447311470994023826" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Piss up a wall and see what shape it makes.<br /><br />If it's symmetrical, you're probably going to get an OBE before your neighbour does.</span> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Oh, and your closest relative might die a bloody and horrible death.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-5120569659489399632010-03-10T01:25:00.001-08:002010-03-10T01:26:38.607-08:00Aries: March 21 - April 19<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHU7GCFCxZkn5y-A1TzecOobfzPQ7WDtRtOkm0AUk6rcDRmjBi_nKU_vhmD3yMploEQkDUmznVdvexOZfayLUBIvxLhiWjRC6CHxNDnBG_paJuImZkwX3btGHoM8vAmTYvrSL_WogBIo0/s1600-h/ariesRAM3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHU7GCFCxZkn5y-A1TzecOobfzPQ7WDtRtOkm0AUk6rcDRmjBi_nKU_vhmD3yMploEQkDUmznVdvexOZfayLUBIvxLhiWjRC6CHxNDnBG_paJuImZkwX3btGHoM8vAmTYvrSL_WogBIo0/s320/ariesRAM3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446934048232283746" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Learn the square root of six. It might come in useful in an exam.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Possibly a maths exam.</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-69198406265880257252010-03-09T00:40:00.000-08:002010-03-09T00:42:20.871-08:00Pisces: February 19 - March 20<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDNyy-NRvNDOYjnBwDjyk6uRaG80pxH5FS-Fm00Ejn981_5-3d4_YFZSl2ujhotBxcrwCoGo8oYxkONb76uKJFTJ4iPrBBM1jF5p427mPqdMizKggsrrV_6VUDjA1t1WkOrY__0_mxUmI/s1600-h/pisces.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDNyy-NRvNDOYjnBwDjyk6uRaG80pxH5FS-Fm00Ejn981_5-3d4_YFZSl2ujhotBxcrwCoGo8oYxkONb76uKJFTJ4iPrBBM1jF5p427mPqdMizKggsrrV_6VUDjA1t1WkOrY__0_mxUmI/s320/pisces.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446551521368063042" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Dogs bark and cows moo.</span><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">People speak, but not to you.<br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">You will become a pariah later today, probably around tea time.</p>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-3197343838809527962010-03-08T01:04:00.001-08:002010-03-08T01:05:52.981-08:00Aquarius: January 20 - February 18<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU0XyMEqtWyq_WgXk8VLp_viWSc-NNRSY7DRIXHvEKKoKwpQH6jc3f1AiKxQWFaaPS_jhMho4rLHB7WDrqIVvjeEa1wQ7PjqByfOyux2jw_PBErDCLUNUvj60ijFN8Y1iBvDtWvcKuFb0/s1600-h/aquarius.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU0XyMEqtWyq_WgXk8VLp_viWSc-NNRSY7DRIXHvEKKoKwpQH6jc3f1AiKxQWFaaPS_jhMho4rLHB7WDrqIVvjeEa1wQ7PjqByfOyux2jw_PBErDCLUNUvj60ijFN8Y1iBvDtWvcKuFb0/s320/aquarius.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446186392600875842" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Today your eyes will fall upon the most beautiful stranger, and your heart will skip a beat.</span><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;">Unluckily for you the beautiful stranger won't be a doctor.<span style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;font-family:arial;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Say goodbye to everyone you love before you leave the house.</span><br /></p>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-88125618839684144972010-03-07T13:00:00.000-08:002010-03-07T13:01:51.384-08:00Capricorn: December 22 - January 19<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglhlcjmOH8aoF-Ea9ujABEMNqzPgWvMDf_uB340NRyovtR8GcyoSNCli_EKnSd6nrCOSllD7eQPFtsN4xG0-YhBDyXzkbJWSHcH6Gy234guwqFMZwGLHi27Nlssb4tsEyMGqwJYbfzEIw/s1600-h/capricorn.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglhlcjmOH8aoF-Ea9ujABEMNqzPgWvMDf_uB340NRyovtR8GcyoSNCli_EKnSd6nrCOSllD7eQPFtsN4xG0-YhBDyXzkbJWSHcH6Gy234guwqFMZwGLHi27Nlssb4tsEyMGqwJYbfzEIw/s320/capricorn.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445999893310743266" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >The triangle is the world's most stable structure.</span><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">You should start building one round the back of that factory near your house.</p><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" ><br />You'll need somewhere to live when your partner finds out about all that stuff you did.</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-73622181930171632572010-03-07T12:52:00.000-08:002010-03-07T12:55:58.899-08:00Poll Results<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >If you could be a mystic for the day, which one would you be?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >50% of you said: "I am already a mystic"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >50% of you said: "Noel Edmonds"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >0% of you said: "Mystic Meg"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >0% of you said: "Russell Grant"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >It is a little know fact that most mystics actually have fairly normally lives, and most would actually rather be another mystic than themselves.</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-2339053820572520172010-03-05T03:57:00.001-08:002010-03-05T04:02:47.674-08:00Sagittarius: November 22 - December 21<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikjyiTvJxAsheFLmzJQXPpAZpb4cFUvLf-r_JgJNzanSAfcdfyo_3UunJfhBQ32LJPk76oXdIynEV9ws5l_pKTXJVGn5TQdCILowZ_1KXZ85FK6_h_J6FlJkCtUApnacPHFwGMbvDrhfI/s1600-h/sagit.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikjyiTvJxAsheFLmzJQXPpAZpb4cFUvLf-r_JgJNzanSAfcdfyo_3UunJfhBQ32LJPk76oXdIynEV9ws5l_pKTXJVGn5TQdCILowZ_1KXZ85FK6_h_J6FlJkCtUApnacPHFwGMbvDrhfI/s320/sagit.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445117811449613522" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Get a skipping rope and learn how to box. Fast!</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-43498122419127649482010-03-04T04:02:00.001-08:002010-03-04T04:03:44.510-08:00Scorpio: October 23 - November 21<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_krj2nUsfVKafZ4Y6iBI8LMFhGb0eC77eV6Fc0_j5HTekXEgxK_B1fZb80NtGdq4Jy_SWTg5jXGEk4Wc1rMBt2zF4nTR8GBDwq6SFkDB_ebMIJv0uyrdOfrXy1GDMae6qms3SOi_7Ofs/s1600-h/scorpio.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_krj2nUsfVKafZ4Y6iBI8LMFhGb0eC77eV6Fc0_j5HTekXEgxK_B1fZb80NtGdq4Jy_SWTg5jXGEk4Wc1rMBt2zF4nTR8GBDwq6SFkDB_ebMIJv0uyrdOfrXy1GDMae6qms3SOi_7Ofs/s320/scorpio.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444748093652904210" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Ever seen a bull in a china shop?</span><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Or a monkey up a tree?</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Or a person driving a car?</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">No!?</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">There's a chance you are either blind or might go blind later today.</p>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-19069457368280107492010-03-03T01:25:00.001-08:002010-03-03T01:26:09.265-08:00Libra: September 23 - October 22<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcXV6QS5rEUzA-VzTd4v9rWr-d44N8_hbaZDe0C68BMZUFd7xa8W8_OiM8xE-kUrMmQM-ENh74fNiD2QkfyOjbDL9CghEqpl_0F9lDogzcKi_CJEXe-rveJWCrnUAd37MyZE6y88Kw5RI/s1600-h/libra.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcXV6QS5rEUzA-VzTd4v9rWr-d44N8_hbaZDe0C68BMZUFd7xa8W8_OiM8xE-kUrMmQM-ENh74fNiD2QkfyOjbDL9CghEqpl_0F9lDogzcKi_CJEXe-rveJWCrnUAd37MyZE6y88Kw5RI/s320/libra.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444336372242230834" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >If you're not careful today, a sword might land in your throat.</span> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Keep away from battle re-enactments and distressed animals.</p>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-56315503512268808252010-03-02T13:42:00.000-08:002010-03-02T13:44:19.889-08:00Virgo: August 23 - September 22<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO42fhwNyGuWIR2MJjBx53QW9HdRI0nePhJdsLrSj4RH_1bHfCAzOgWiBzZ2VxoTKuuIr7N5IQ68ED5UsUCKos7gPTOIJiOVCtKffV75Rn6w_oJ2hygP7d1JATtUbE_Wm6fskXBAbn4FM/s1600-h/virgo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO42fhwNyGuWIR2MJjBx53QW9HdRI0nePhJdsLrSj4RH_1bHfCAzOgWiBzZ2VxoTKuuIr7N5IQ68ED5UsUCKos7gPTOIJiOVCtKffV75Rn6w_oJ2hygP7d1JATtUbE_Wm6fskXBAbn4FM/s320/virgo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444155422853738434" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Roses are red, violets are blue,</span><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >On your head today a bird will poo.</span><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-42541841628860652162010-03-01T01:51:00.000-08:002010-03-01T01:53:15.213-08:00Leo: July 23 - August 22<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh82LEkaTUmg4BI_yC4175WrYbdPA4ilIkmPo83qavco79LM2GxYHFGxh78HvE7uHvh1zqG83ZmvfGCuc9inohN41eAUwIPzjybYuKj3d8ixdzs_fgQrXWH21IsG_8HD0TvNBIwGYb7NiY/s1600-h/leo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh82LEkaTUmg4BI_yC4175WrYbdPA4ilIkmPo83qavco79LM2GxYHFGxh78HvE7uHvh1zqG83ZmvfGCuc9inohN41eAUwIPzjybYuKj3d8ixdzs_fgQrXWH21IsG_8HD0TvNBIwGYb7NiY/s320/leo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5443601138428910194" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >JK Rowling saw into the future and based the Harry Potter stories on your life. </span><br /><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Pack your bags, you're going to Hogwarts.</p>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-56648272194248675912010-02-28T04:38:00.001-08:002010-02-28T04:38:36.855-08:00Cancer: June 21 - July 22<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8O7ZLNXJowPX_p0zkeoWiPbaUh4oxZEoT0qzifMzcqpZcaQx6uXG1_VlyBu6_b3VwKu104Bd3uuH0qgcHCDx4pHwwQUebA_W99xmzTsykcNEPKkXW1l6MeDfeAcvT_9oQbfuh7w8g02BO/s1600-h/cancer.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8O7ZLNXJowPX_p0zkeoWiPbaUh4oxZEoT0qzifMzcqpZcaQx6uXG1_VlyBu6_b3VwKu104Bd3uuH0qgcHCDx4pHwwQUebA_W99xmzTsykcNEPKkXW1l6MeDfeAcvT_9oQbfuh7w8g02BO/s320/cancer.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5443271919957445058" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Boom boom boom, gotta get-get</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Boom boom boom, now</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Boom boom boom, now</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Boom boom pow</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Boom boom pow.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >If you can't do that today, you should try and do it tomorrow.</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-26633985486486481162010-02-27T02:42:00.000-08:002010-02-27T02:44:10.783-08:00Gemini: May 21 - June 20<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyqFTO6xpZLiy9lcOy01ShVoNV2jJq81FkaDBhdmL0heDT5ew58wHEDqT759kSoQIIAEBinytjtLbBJfB_pSIiv87ikysl6yBHLE5CsGen4rlt56S9gdvi8xEKC4XKH9Fy70boh8IWsZw/s1600-h/gemini.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyqFTO6xpZLiy9lcOy01ShVoNV2jJq81FkaDBhdmL0heDT5ew58wHEDqT759kSoQIIAEBinytjtLbBJfB_pSIiv87ikysl6yBHLE5CsGen4rlt56S9gdvi8xEKC4XKH9Fy70boh8IWsZw/s320/gemini.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442872019324696322" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Today you will read your horoscope.</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-91976757685685929942010-02-26T01:20:00.000-08:002010-02-26T09:24:47.216-08:00Taurus: April 20 - May 20<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-B6kV4CJz9gT9a6FKvo-Ufhm-nr-n-iJM3zHSMgLfiwIhU9yYN0VMkbfft6pBGlNAhLuH0H8iRj2_hLHAN2mECbGqEk8n8qp1eYRrXwy2yCzqYlsOwZnMnCgoDdl2ywajC-Oar9wVvzI/s1600-h/taurus+copy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-B6kV4CJz9gT9a6FKvo-Ufhm-nr-n-iJM3zHSMgLfiwIhU9yYN0VMkbfft6pBGlNAhLuH0H8iRj2_hLHAN2mECbGqEk8n8qp1eYRrXwy2yCzqYlsOwZnMnCgoDdl2ywajC-Oar9wVvzI/s320/taurus+copy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442481443267995842" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Your partner is planning to leave you today.</span><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">The best way to stop them is by chaining them to a radiator or knocking them unconscious with a frying pan.</p>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-18971630079387581182010-02-25T03:35:00.000-08:002010-02-25T03:38:32.924-08:00Aries: March 21 - April 19<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTtxBy9PHqTOXBNCF34B7KVvnm0OyEkoEya9Tz517_v9jRfiXysIjSWJLLT0z-_SJRbqPSJEpCJa6n1aAxkFUYfo5vNuCZ5Jis8-lVfFqz9zC06nTse52m3RBMefht27m3_NNpyakXRZw/s1600-h/ariesRAM3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTtxBy9PHqTOXBNCF34B7KVvnm0OyEkoEya9Tz517_v9jRfiXysIjSWJLLT0z-_SJRbqPSJEpCJa6n1aAxkFUYfo5vNuCZ5Jis8-lVfFqz9zC06nTse52m3RBMefht27m3_NNpyakXRZw/s320/ariesRAM3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442143641896679362" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >You have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low grade bank clerk.<br /><br />Consequently Nigel Farge doesn't want you to be the next EU President.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >However, someone out there does. Find out who they are, give them an office with an oak desk and a telephone and get the blighter to work.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >http://ow.ly/1b6Ns</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-30857851597984004152010-02-25T01:50:00.000-08:002010-02-25T01:56:31.109-08:00Pisces: February 19 – March 20<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZj0DOJA_WGKeKmKGArCEuYlxdPL7DVcDYOb_MlcTJUF2gFKFo7ANYvqQjwR_ZcIPv-RIMaztR1D1cOLVqjE_W8pKzphIBRGmIFuXywFeZ0_HO6MM22PkQruYxo7qio9UtNohLO2isOmo/s1600-h/pisces.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZj0DOJA_WGKeKmKGArCEuYlxdPL7DVcDYOb_MlcTJUF2gFKFo7ANYvqQjwR_ZcIPv-RIMaztR1D1cOLVqjE_W8pKzphIBRGmIFuXywFeZ0_HO6MM22PkQruYxo7qio9UtNohLO2isOmo/s320/pisces.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442116826359494818" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Take a straw and a pair of scissors.</span><br /><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Carefully cut the straw in half, lengthwise.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Now tie the two halves together and throw the thing in the air.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">As it falls think about how much time you've just wasted.</p><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Now get on with your day and do something useful for a change.</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-19899078140571230722010-02-24T02:00:00.000-08:002010-02-24T02:03:58.232-08:00Poll results<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" >Do you believe in horoscopes?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" >80% of you said: "No"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" >20% of you said: "What's a horoscope?"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >In answer to the 20%, a horoscope is like a telescope crossed with a kaleidoscope.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >It looks far away, into the future, and brings back images that make no sense.</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-48513801962150983892010-02-24T01:57:00.000-08:002010-02-24T01:59:25.120-08:00Aquarius: January 20 - February 18<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVcKjII8zh4db0DVDQcuud1D0jQpHBz0MkPZRwxE1bJXj0-CefmZX7ROjL-zkSGKXKOMVWAXVpgxQwdMnXw57Y5w1-bdrtW-vBh6bojVINZKIa3MA8fOfZPkR5L-CB97TUahh7JFuvC6E/s1600-h/aquarius.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVcKjII8zh4db0DVDQcuud1D0jQpHBz0MkPZRwxE1bJXj0-CefmZX7ROjL-zkSGKXKOMVWAXVpgxQwdMnXw57Y5w1-bdrtW-vBh6bojVINZKIa3MA8fOfZPkR5L-CB97TUahh7JFuvC6E/s320/aquarius.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441747192828072882" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >You're quite likely to go to the toilet today.<br /><br />Make sure you pull your pants down first.</span>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819538499120949514.post-47481063013604405262010-02-22T23:02:00.000-08:002010-02-22T23:05:59.033-08:00Capricorn: December 22 - January 19<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzFFMoTxQ1J-k1qd8D3n-2Yxs6ct0ePJSS6QFNBbhJQfigEYWEN9kmoiTz7qfHZEpd2vLNCy2krRZdbq9XHRa9NMQLXAe5KxuCkbRPJpJsjSSC5H-I4vILlltLWra2rjH3P3Xj-Z9dwDA/s1600-h/capricorn.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzFFMoTxQ1J-k1qd8D3n-2Yxs6ct0ePJSS6QFNBbhJQfigEYWEN9kmoiTz7qfHZEpd2vLNCy2krRZdbq9XHRa9NMQLXAe5KxuCkbRPJpJsjSSC5H-I4vILlltLWra2rjH3P3Xj-Z9dwDA/s320/capricorn.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441331252116286834" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Buy a Nespresso machine.</span><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">George Clooney is coming to your house.</p>Ian Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16357198514114442292noreply@blogger.com0